Friday, August 30, 2013

John Scalzi, jewel tones and Robin Thicke's suit

Good morning Frog-Lovers, I hope you're all fabulous and enjoying a pleasant Spring(ish) Friday.

No blog post today - just some reflections on the week.

First, I strongly advise you to go over here, to read author John Scalzi's hilarious take-down of an arsehole who thought to use one of John's photos against him. This piece brightened my week enormously and gave me serious out-loud chuckles. JEWEL TONES, MOTHERFUCKER.


I'm over here at the The Shake today, talking about the appalling stage appearance this week at the Video Music Awards; the vision that has rocked the entertainment industry. Yes, I'm talking about Robin Thicke's suit.

Finally, let me leave you with some disturbing cows.


You're welcome.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. See you around the pond.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Questions for Ben: What you can do to prevent the breakdown of society (plus chickens)

How could you not give this man a lousy dollar?
Today I ask the author, comedian, poet, and all-round hilarious dude, Ben Pobjie, some questions (mainly about chickens). A big thank you to Ben for agreeing to let me loose in his brain.

Frog: You've started your latest show, An Evening of Unfettered Ben, at the Butterfly Club in Melbourne this week. The crucial question is; will there be butterflies?
Ben: No. I've been thoroughly fumigated.
Frog: OK folks, you heard it here first. You can all go to the show (you're all going, right?) knowing you won't be bothered by any pesky Lemon Migrants or Purple Coppers. Ben, you're currently raising money for your next MICF show - Trigger Warning. What can you tell us about the show?
Ben: It will be completely unapologetic, potentially disturbing and reasonably audible. Do not come if you are likely to be offended by anything whatsoever.
Frog: Chicken, or beef?
Ben: Chicken. C'mon. Beef? It's known as "poor man's chicken".
Frog: Why did the chicken?
Ben: Pure bloody-mindedness.
Frog: Speaking of chickens, you're funding your next MICF show with the Give Ben A Dollar campaign. How's that going?
Ben: People have been very generous except for those who haven't. I ask you: if I asked you for a dollar to buy a packet of chips, wouldn't you give it to me? So c'mon guys, why not to buy a packet of comedy?
Frog: Well then I ask you, if I gave you a dollar today, what would you do with it?
Ben: Flip it in the air in a rakish manner.
Frog: I'd pay to see that. On the subject of rakes, Tennant or Smith?
Ben: Tennant. Unless the Smith in question is champion Melbourne Storm hooker Cameron Smith, who is pretty great.
Frog: What's the best heckle (not written by you) that you've ever received at a gig?
Ben: This is like asking me who is my favourite racist. The best heckle is one that a person is intelligent enough to keep to themselves. 
Frog: Let's talk about favourites, then. House Stark, or House Lannister?
Ben: To be friends with, or to stab an innocent person in the face? Stark for the former. Stark again for the latter, since you couldn't even trust a Lannister to stab the right person.
Frog: If you could invite anyone (living, dead, real, or fictional) over for dinner, who would it be and why (I'm guessing neither Starks nor Lannisters are on the list)?
Ben: Shaun Micallef. I would beg him for a job. 
Frog: While you're waiting for Shaun Micallef to drop from the ceiling with a job, what's the most persuasive reason you can think of why people should Give Ben a Dollar?
Ben: Because human society is built on the principle of reciprocal cooperation, and those who fail to assist their fellow man in his time of need are risking a total breakdown of the community adhesion upon which civilisation depends.
Frog: Shit, this comedy thing is serious. C'mon people, Give Ben a Dollar. We don't want to see civilisation fall for the lack of a little gold coin, do we?

Ben Pobjie writes for The Guardian, The Age, New Matilda and for his own blog, Ben Pobjie's Wonderful World of Objects. You should all go like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter, and go see him at the Butterfly Club. Most of all, though, you should give him a dollar. For the sake of humanity.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Where I am that isn't here

Good morning, Frog-Lovers.

I'm around today, in a few places that aren't the place that is here.

Please read the next installment of my Super Heroes series on retirement finances here at The Modern Woman's Survival Guide.

After that, a cup of tea and a lie down, best you click here for some shocking truths from me about kittens, knitting and vegan firefighters at The Shake.

Coming soon:
See you around the pond, people.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Circumnavigating the whelm via a Slow Loris

I’m feeling very overwhelmed today.


I’m working too much, writing too little, but not feeling like writing at all.

I can’t afford the time for whelm. There’s work to prep for and do, a family to care for, a cat to cuddle, fish to feed (shit did I feed the fish?), a house to clean (yeah RIGHT).

I’m feeling very pressured and out of control. I’m also knackered, headachey and full of whining self-pity.

I need to rest, but I can’t. I should shed some stuff, but I can’t. I have a short holiday booked next month but that’s a looong way away.

So for now, I’m just going to have to work out a way to move around the whelm, because I can’t go under or over it right now.

I’m going to be circumwhelmed.

So in support of my efforts to go AROUND the whelm, here is a very sweet video of a Slow Loris eating a rice ball.

So tell me everyone,
how do you circumnavigate the whelm?

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Oh Sergeant Drake...

Happy Sunday everyone.

I have a little something for any Game of Thrones or Ripper Street fans amongst you today. If you don't watch these shows GET THEM IN YOUR EYE SOCKETS STAT.

This may be old news to my UK friends, but I'd like you to watch this video.

Does the main singer here look familiar?

Hello Bronn. Hello Sergeant Bennet Drake.

The comment under the video is also priceless.

Now that I've blown your minds, I'll leave you to your weekend.

See you around the pond, Frog-Lovers.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Movement that moves us

Hello Frog-Lovers. Here's something that I came across this week in my wanderings around the pond...

I dare you not to be moved.

See you around the pond!

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Maybe we're not all arseholes after all

Well it's been quite a couple of weeks, hasn't it?

I've been despairing a lot, because it seems the world really is full of arseholes.

Then the wonderful Slackmistress posted this into my social media eyeballs and made everything better.

I hope your legs are holding up this week.

See you around the pond, frog-lovers.